Starting out
Early on, ask about everyday things. They are easy to answer and often lead somewhere.
- Where did you grow up?
- What kind of work did you do?
- What do you like to do here?
- What did you have for lunch? Was it any good?
The last one sounds small, but people have opinions about food, and it tells you something about their day.
Once you know each other
After a few visits you can ask bigger questions. Let the person decide how much to say.
- Who taught you something you still use?
- Is there something you own that has a good story behind it?
- How did you meet your husband or wife?
- What was different about being young when you were young?
The follow-up matters more
A good first question gets a short answer. The follow-up is where the conversation happens. Pick up a detail they gave you: “You said the kitchen was always busy. Who was doing the cooking?”
Share a little about yourself too, so it does not feel like an interview. Then hand it back.
If they change the subject, go with it.